By April Bennett
When I think about what it truly means to Take Up Space, I reflect on the journey I’ve been on over the past 20 years, building a life both personally and professionally. For much of that time, I struggled with self-doubt: about my body, my worth, how I love, and who I am. I’ve felt boxed in by others’ expectations. I’ve carried the weight of shame, fear, and the quiet-but-crushing pressure to shrink — to be less so others could feel more comfortable.
The Support pillar of the Take Up Space Foundation is rooted in the belief that we are not meant to do life alone. We crave connection. We thrive in community. When we share our struggles and celebrate our wins together, we shift from simply surviving to becoming. Taking up space isn’t just about standing tall. It’s about standing together.
But here’s the truth: support isn’t always readily available. We may be wired for connection, but that doesn’t mean we should accept help at any cost. I spent much of my life trying to be everyone’s cup of tea — the good girl, the achiever, the reliable one. Now, in my late 40s, I finally realize: I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. And honestly? I’m not even sure I like tea all that much — which is not something you’re supposed to say as a person in the wellness field! I think we’re all supposed to pretend we love tea, but I’ll take a good strong cup of coffee with flavored creamer over tea any day. And just because my needs, desires, or truths look different than someone else’s — or even different from what I once claimed for myself — doesn’t make them wrong. It just means I need a different kind of support.
Sometimes, we believe we have a solid support system — but only as long as we’re playing by their rules. When we begin showing up more authentically, that support can shift or disappear. I’ve experienced this firsthand as a single parent raising my created family through foster care. I’ve leaned on many people. But as I’ve stepped into new dreams and desires — beyond just being a mother or daughter — I’ve noticed some support fade.
For years, I was afraid to ask for help. I feared disappointing people, or worse, revealing that I wasn’t who they thought I was. How strange to emotionally “out” yourself — especially after just coming out as a queer woman preparing to enter a same-sex marriage. Any guess which one felt scarier?
Lately, I’ve found comfort in Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory. Let them judge. Let them disagree. Let them be angry or disappointed. For a lifelong people-pleaser, that’s easier said than done. But even harder than the “let them” is the “let me.” Let me want something different. Let me change. Let me grow outside the bounds of others’ comfort zones. Because once we stop measuring ourselves by others’ expectations, we have to define our own worth — and that’s the real work.
Support starts with finding your people, those who reflect your light when you forget how brightly you shine. Not everyone who loves us can support us in the ways we need. That’s a hard truth. And it doesn’t mean we need to cut people off. We can still love them, and be loved by them, while seeking the kind of support that fuels our growth. That takes courage. It takes vulnerability. It takes admitting, we do not “got this” and accepting that it’s okay that we can’t do it all on our own.
What’s surprised me most is how many people I’ve drawn in by being more me — more flawed, more honest, more real. When we pretend to have it all together, we leave no room for others to show up authentically. But when we drop the mask, we make space for connection — and that is the heart of support.
I didn’t join the Take Up Space board just to offer support to other women — though I hope I do. I joined to receive it, too. To build new community. To grow alongside women who see, hear, and celebrate each other without condition. That’s why I’m proud to join the board of this incredible foundation. Because I believe in the power of women showing up for each other. I believe in spaces where truth is welcomed, not silenced. I believe in connection as a catalyst for change. True support changes everything. It’s not just about encouragement, it’s about empowerment. It’s about community that says, “You don’t have to shrink. You don’t have to pretend. You belong.”
If you’re reading this and feeling alone, unsure, too much, or not enough — please hear this:
You belong here.
Your voice matters.
Your truth matters.
Your dreams matter.
There is a tribe of women waiting to lift you up as you rise. Be you. Be brave. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone.
